Empathy in Communication: The Challenges of Being Bilingual

GLADYS WONG Energy Healer, Spiritual Counselor & Writer

First published: September 2, 2014

Speaking different languages is like having a superpower! It enhances your mental capability, opens new opportunities, and connects you to other cultures. Growing up outside the U.S., juggling languages introduced me to unique and often funny communication challenges. As a native Cantonese speaker, I blend languages in ways that can lead to amusing situations.

I often misuse the meaning of Cantonese, a Chinese dialect, with English, causing others to delay in understanding and responding—they are confused. This is because of Cantonese and English’s differing cultural nuances and meanings. What I said sometimes sounded like what comes out of the Google Translator.

For instance, a couple of days ago, I was in the locker room and saw a lady sitting on the bench, looking flushed and breathless. I wanted to ask if she was feeling well. Instead of asking, “Are you okay?” I said, “How are you?” The direct translation of “How are you?” in Cantonese is 你點啊? (Nei dim aa?), which means “How do you feel?” Rather than telling me about her health condition, the woman responded, “I had an excellent Zumba class.” I assumed she was okay and then headed to the pool.

An hour later, I found myself amidst a chaotic scene with paramedics attending to the same woman who had fainted. Thankfully, she was okay. Had I asked, “Are you okay?” instead, I might have been able to get her medical attention sooner. So, note to self: “How are you?” is for casual chats, not emergency check-ins!

My mother spoke more than three languages, and in her old age, her memory sometimes caused confusion in our conversations. Her situation taught me to listen with empathy. It also brought many moments of laughter, like when she switched between four languages in one sentence at a party. That was a linguistic roller coaster!

Even between siblings, we toggled between Cantonese and English. We often asked each other, “講乜呀” (Gong mat aa?), which means, “What are you saying?” Sometimes, I don’t mean what I say or say what I mean. I don’t intend to confuse anyone; I’m often just as confused.

Words are powerful, but they can be misunderstood. Conversing between languages is confusing; even native speakers sometimes have problems communicating.

When communication is challenging, let your heart guide you. Be patient and empathetic, both with others and yourself. True connection comes from our shared humanity and genuine intentions beyond words. And always remember: a smile and a bit of laughter can bridge even the most confusing language gaps!

Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.” – Alfred Adler.

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